It feels like everyone else is succeeding except me

Familiar?

I bought some Christmas wrapping paper back in October, carried it all round London, annoying myself and the general population.

Yesterday I started wrapping a gift with it. Wrapped one end, then moved to the other, and heard a little ‘pop!’ as the tape pulled away from the already sealed end.

Over and over it happened, again and again. I was determined to beat it. I tried different sellotape, held the ends down firmly, to secure it. Then, gradually, came the ‘fllllpppppt’ and it was unstuck again.

Now, I stare at the roll, intermittently, from my desk, cursing it.

It’s so nice. It was cheap (not bad cheap - in fact, cheaper paper is usually easier to stick down, and often gets ripped when you even waft the sticky tape within five feet of it). From Tiger, you know, Flying Tiger off of Copenhagen.

It’s Cath Kidston-esque with retro trees and it made me feel classy. Which meant my gifts would look classy. I would win Christmas.

Only now I’m not.

And it seems like it’s not the only thing I’m failing at while all around me seem to be doing oh-so-well.

Menopause - well, peri - is something I’m exploring via a new Substack called The Lady Area and that’s a whole quagmire of ‘am I doing the right thing/she seems to be better at menopause than me’.

I met someone at an event recently who told me she was doing a detox pre-Christmas (as I actual ate a mince pie in real time next to her). Failing at pre-Christmas diet.

I feel like the rest of the world is shinier, brighter, achieving more and nailing it.

I also - and if this resonates, let me know so I have some level of validation - compare myself to people who I would never really be comparable to. Taylor Swift, for example. She’s Woman of the Year! I’m not even ‘wrapping paper user of the day’.

People are speaking at events I’m not even attending. Well, so they say on LinkedIn. People are making charcuterie trees while I nibble leftover roast lamb from the bone in front of the fridge. So their videos tell me on Instagram (my fault really, I’ve told the algorithm that I like charcuterie board videos).

I feel it here, too, on Substack. Sorry to say but as other Substacks land in my inbox, and people share their offers and deals for subscribers I feel like a bit of a fail here too. Why aren’t you all reading every single post, darn it?! (Don’t answer that…)

The thing is, I know, deep down, I’m not alone.

That by writing this and landing it in your inbox, I might be giving you the ‘Jenny is doing more than me’ feels. That you, too, might be scrolling social media, or walking round the shops thinking ‘They seem so… sorted… why aren’t I?’

So I’m here to say that if you feel you aren’t succeeding at anything right now, you’re not alone. That we compare only with what we can see, of course.

Here’s the plan:

Ditch the paper that won’t stick. Eat the mince pie if you want to. Head to the gym if you prefer. Have a wine if you want, a mocktail if that’s more you. Be kind to yourself. Stick on some Boots £1.50 eye bag patches and lie on the bed for half an hour.

But remember, that we ALL feel that we’re not succeeding at things, and we all feel like everyone else is.

Lots of love

Jenny x