Freelance Feels: Freelance Dry January
Getting through a darker, quieter month...
Welcome to the first edition of Freelance Feels: The newsletter for humans who work for themselves.
Freelance Feels is a platform I created to help myself make sense of freelance life, and it’s grown into one that is helping other people, too. At first a website and blog, I then launched a podcast, and now here’s the Freelance Feels newsletter, which will land in your inbox at the beginning of every month.
I launched Freelance Feels in the summer of 2019, after a period of feeling pretty rubbish about freelancing. Work had been scarce that past year, and I was working from home a lot, feeling isolated, feeling a bit worthless, wondering if freelancing really was for me.
Freelance for the third time in my life (staff jobs had lured me back on occasion), I knew deep down that yes, this was the right path, but how to cope with the feels of it? So Freelance Feels was born, and before long I had a symbol - The Cactus.
Here’s the thing: For me, ‘A freelancer is like a cactus. We can survive tough conditions but we still need love and water’.
It’s lead to me having a shelf full of cacti, loads of cacti merch from pens to Christmas baubles, and unable to walk down the street without spotting one. Friends now say they see cacti and say ‘Jenny!’. These little plants – and big, sometimes, too – are our symbol as freelancers, and I hope now when you see one you think of Freelancing and Freelance Feels, too.
So, welcome… what’s your freelance?
I ask this of all my podcast guests to introduce themselves, and I wonder as you read this what your freelance is. For me, my freelance is journalism and the media. I work on women’s magazines, and write for newspapers and websites. But, the more you think about it the more freelancers are around us all day long. From Hollywood actors wondering when the next job will pay out big or win them an Oscar, to the plumber, your yoga teacher…
We are all freelancers – whether we’re typing away, fixing a pipe, painting a wall, adding up someone else’s tax return, opening a café for the first time since December, hairdressing … the list is endless. I am a freelance journalist and in my industry there are LOADS of us, numbers growing daily. But this newsletter isn’t just for journalists, it’s for anyone who is self-employed, freelance or has a side hustle. Or, for anyone who is thinking of making the leap and wants to start pondering on how it’ll feel and how they’ll work to make it work.
If you work for yourself or are thinking about it, then Freelance Feels is for you and I hope this newsletter will see you through each freelance month with some inspiration, challenges and motivation as well as some Instagram accounts to follow and other things I spot which might be useful.
Why a newsletter?
I’m seeing more and more newsletters launching each week - In fact, if you want to try a few more, this article in Marie Claire has a nice list, while writer and podcaster Emma Gannon has released hers, The Hyphen.
I’ve launched a newsletter as I am really enjoying the surge of new ones I’m reading, and I felt like I wanted to take my blog posts to a new level. I’ll still be writing those, but this monthly newsletter will be similar musings on a theme. They won’t always be in the same format – that is to say, this month I’ve done some sections with different headings, another month might be more of a ‘long read’ but they’ll each have one theme.
February will be all about the love (or not) of freelancing, for example (anyone else already seen V-day cards in the shops?! I’ve seen one with a cactus!)
This month, the theme is of the Freelance Feels newsletter is Freelance Dry January.
Whether you’re doing it or not, Dry January is in the news. People are abstaining left, right and centre. If they’re not going full cold turkey, they’re exploring a sober-curious lifestyle. Or, on the other hand, they’re rebelling and still quaffing wine like a Roman at a banquet, in denial that Christmas is now, indeed, not even just in the past, but back in a previous decade.
January is hard, not least I think because many of us tend to think of this time as spring, but it’s actually still cold, hard winter.
I love autumn and winter as a human – they’re the seasons that make my soul happy. But work-wise they can be a real struggle. There are darker nights and colder days – and often those days go by one after the other without us talking to anyone.
It’s a recipe for mental health meltdown, if we’re not careful.
The idea of Dry January has never hugely appealed to me. But it does create a nice analogy, and so this first newsletter is focusing on what I feel is the ‘other’ dry January; The desert of freelancing that is the beginning of the year.
(This Jan I’m doing ‘semi-dry January’, exploring mindful drinking and cutting down – hoping it’ll help my productivity. I’ll be interested to see how it mixes with freelance life, and how much more I get done, what clarity I feel and so on.)
Being a freelancer is isolating at the best of times, but in a month when many people are hunkering down and waiting for longer days and brighter mornings, it’s a real challenge. We can feel like we’re a lone cactus in the desert, while everyone else seems to be coping, we’re alone in the arid wilderness, wondering if we’ll ever see a drop of water again.
One thing that comes up all the time when I speak to other freelancers or people comment on Freelance Feels, is loneliness. While office workers, or anyone in a staff job have gone back to work, we’re alone, often at home which might have been filled with family, friends and decorations. Suddenly, the festivities are over and the chaos is gone, but instead of feeling peace, many of us feel, well… lost. Lonely. Confused. Worried…
And for those who are in jobs, January can be a time of coasting. They can get their heads down, do the most or the least they want to do, until they get to that glorious day they know is coming – Pay Day. January, when you’re employed, is (or at least was, in my experience), just one long slide towards your Christmas overdraft finally disappearing through the mediums of potential sobriety, the wearing of large scarves, eating more veg and popping to the gym. Not so for the freelancers.
So what I’d like to do in this first newsletter is take you through some survival ideas for getting you through Dry January for Freelancers.
First up, are you in Dry January? AKA: Goal setting – yes or no?
Are you full of goals, or hiding away from them? January and New Year are THE time for this, right? Because if you set a goal at any other time it just doesn’t have the same gravitas… Hmmm.
The Internet is full of articles about goal setting – but there are also ones about not goal setting. What to do? It’s like deciding to do Dry Jan or not in the first place. This weekend, the Guardian Weekend magazine had 50 ways to improve your life, while other mags are full of diet recipes and the TV is now showing new series of things like ‘Love it or List it’ (about renovating your home vs selling).
If it’s not body or home, it’s mind or work. I’m not against goals but I know they’re not for everyone! Goals are great but they can be a double-edged sword. If you add goals to this never ending list of ‘be better’ articles and the fact that everyone else seems to be doing ok (thanks, social media) and it’s a recipe for depression, for some of us. Especially when we’re reading those articles alone at home, or in a co-working space or even in a shared office but don’t really have any way of rationalising things as we don’t have a colleague to turn to. So this month, if you’re not goal setting, then I salute you, but if you are, then I would encourage you to make time for my first Freelance Dry January tip…
What you do in Dry January: Head to the gym
The Freelance Dry Jan equivalent: Co-mentoring and coaching
I have become a convert to coaching. It wasn’t always this way. I used to think it was a bit of a ruse. What can a coach help me think or decide that I can’t for myself? Well, after trying it, I can tell you: LOTS. Coaching is like talking to a friend who doesn’t always have your best interests at heart. That might sound weird, but friends love you so they can sometimes tell you the easy way, or be kind. A coach is kind but they’re firm, too, and they have your plans and interests at heart in a business way. They challenge you to think about what you really want and help you set targets or make plans that work for you.
Coaching isn’t always cheap, but you can see if you can find someone who is training as a coach as they often need guinea pigs! You could offer a skills swap (another thing I used to baulk at but now find quite amazing. More on that next month with the love and sharing vibes).
But if you don’t like the idea of a coach you could also try something one of my podcast guests suggested, which is find a co-mentor. This was the suggestion of Steve Folland, founder of the Being Freelance Community and podcast. Steve explains on the Freelance Feels podcast how he found and chose his co-mentee (it doesn’t have to be someone you already know!) and how it’s been beneficial.
“It's made such a difference. You can run ideas past each other, you can sense check things and there’s accountability. I might say, ‘Oh, yeah, I need to do this for the podcast’. And by the time I'm on the train, having left her', I’ve already started doing it, and a month later I can come back and say I did this, this and this.”
What you do in Dry January: Go to a sober-friendly event with like minded people
The Freelance Dry Jan equivalent: Finding your freelance tribe
Not keen on a one-to-one? Then groups and communities are a good place to find some moral support. The GOOD thing about having quiet freelance January is that you do have time to do some admin which you might not have had time to do before Christmas. And one of the things I urge you to do is find groups and communities that can really boost your confidence. Here’s a list of ones I like to get you started..
I am also in other groups specific to my industry and interests – for example, a podcasters support group, and one that I run called Freelance Media Women and Women in Journalism. To find yours, spend ten minutes or so searching on Facebook or google with ‘freelance’ plus words to do with your industry. I did this with podcasting and found some great Facebook groups that have answered so many questions and helped me realise I’m not alone as I begin the podcasting journey!
What you do in Dry January: Try a mocktail
The Freelance Dry Jan equivalent: Find something to refresh your freelance palate
Mocktails are what people have when they’re around drinkers, right? So what’s our equivalent of the mocktail in this dry month? For me, it’s in-house work. Granted, I’ve prepared for this and got something booked in for Jan and Feb. Like stocking up my fridge with ginger beer and fizzy water before January 1. BUT it’s not too late. Is this something you can do in your industry? Are there opportunities for a part-time something that will bring you some money and routine in the winter months?
Have a look on LinkedIn (and if you’re not on it, have an explore. Sure it might feel super businessey, but then isn’t that what we’re about really? We’re businesses, not just people doing a little hobby!) The more I use LinkedIn, the more I like it – there are SO MANY jobs listed on there. Also look out for newsletters that have job alerts – my industry has a few, but I’m sure yours does, too. If not, you could start one.
What you do in Dry January: Go to the cinema with a sober mate
The Freelance Dry Jan equivalent: Pick up the phone to a freelance mate
This has come up a lot in all my podcast interviews so far! In particular from Marianne Power who wrote a blog charting her relationship with self help books which became a book called Help me!. She was my first guest and had so much good advice. But one that’s stayed with me (and she’s tried out on me, too!) is to call someone. Not arrange to call them - just call, spontaneously.
Because, most of the time, picking up the phone is GOOD for your mental health. Every time I do, or someone calls, I’m pleased.
On the podcast, Marianne said: “I remember that in my early freelance days, there was about two or three buddies that were phone buddies, who would call each other during the day. And I think really helped us. And I find it funny that we're now in this time where you almost have to schedule phone calls a week in advance. So I freak people out by just calling them and they're like, what? To just actually hear someone's voice can really break a kind of a worried spell that you can be in.” Listen to the whole interview here.
A note on January financial feels
I digress a little now onto a topic that’s come up a lot in the week between Christmas and New Year: money. In particular, rates. (Also, Tax Returns, but I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole other than to say if this year you left it late and didn’t have the right paperwork – like me – then make the next tax year the one you do it differently. Start inputting receipts more often, keep payslips in a safe place and SCAN THEM too. File your invoices in a folder on your computer and start a spreadsheet. I’m new to them for organising work, but if I can, then I believe you can!).
Anyway, rates. Day rates, bulk work rates, contract rates, pro rata salaries. We take what we’re offered a lot of the time, and it’s easy to say that in 2020 you should increase what you charge but it’s easier said than done. I know, for sure.
Now, remember, I’m not the person to look to for how to work out your new rate. I’m here to talk about how it feels. Because while it should feel utterly empowering and mind-blowingly amazing, putting up my rates last week felt… sickening.
I went through a whole Boxing Day buffet, if you will, of nibbles of various bad feels. I was anxious. Deep in my IBS-fearing tummy, as the words came out my mouth, I felt knots tying themselves tighter and tighter. How DARE I ask, I thought. I was worried – what if I sounded demanding, or bolshie. I was scared – what if they just said ‘no’?
My hands were shaking slightly. I was scared because, I think, I hadn’t done this for so long, if at all, it was so unfamiliar. It was as unfamiliar to me as jumping in the sea on New Year’s Day. But then for some people that’s a normal feeling. And perhaps it is for those who increase their rates, too, if they do it a lot or state a higher fee than they’re offered. The more we do this, the more it’ll become a habit and conversation we feel worthy of – I truly believe that.
So I urge you to try it. I’m not saying demand more immediately from every client and leave yourself adrift with no work! But I am saying, when a new offer comes in, negotiate.
Flip it round. If a shop you liked increased the price of its shoes, you’d probably pay if the quality was the same. You like that brand. Same with the decorator or plumber. If they’re a person (also a freelancer!) who you trust and want to keep working on your home, you’ll hear them state their new rate and you might at least negotiate a middle ground.
So it is with the rest of us. We must begin to try this more. And learn that walking away can be ok if they won’t negotiate.
I can reassure you, from experience, it’s worked for me, and the feeling when I’d settled down again after saying my rates had gone up? Then came the ‘powerful’. I was soaring. I felt valued, and the best thing was that the person who was valuing me, was me. I didn’t get that feeling from them, for paying more, I got it from myself for asking.
Here’s a nice piece from IPSE (The Association of Independent Professionals and the Self Employed), which is also a great site to check out in general. IPSE has a national freelancers day in the summer, which is very much worth a ticket. I launched Freelance Feels the same day and made some great contacts there.
Client Anxiety
So while we’re talking about liaising with clients, I’d like to bring up something else I’m challenging myself with this year and would love you to try, too. It’s banishing what I call Anxclienty. I wrote about this for the Freelance Feels blog and posted on Medium which is also a good site with loads of articles by and for freelancers to check out. This is something I’ve written about which has had a big resonance with people so I’m mentioning it here as I’d like to encourage you to consider it and consider changing it in January and then beyond.
The thing with clients is, like with rates, we can feel they choose us, a lot of the time. Especially in this Dry January phase where we might be thirsty for work – desperate for something, anything, that feels like a new piece of work. So we work with clients we don’t like or respect, or who don’t respect us. Ones who don’t make us want to get out of bed in the morning. Familiar?
Clients who, when we see an email from them, make us shudder with negative freelance feels. What I’ve done to combat this and is something you could consider too is writing down my ‘ideal client list’. You can see mine in the blog post – it’s everything from ‘pays on time’ to ‘says thank you’. It’s a great way to judge if you want to work with someone even before you go into that rate negotiation. Start one and print it out, have it by your computer for the next time a client email comes in. Think of it as having an ideal partner list. You won’t perhaps tick them all, but it’ll help you remember what really matters to you and your work values.
Freelance podcast of the month
Each month I’ll pick a podcast for you to listen to which focuses on something to do with freelancing and self employed life. This month’s is Friends with Business Benefits – and a particular episode for this month would be How to Beat the Instagram Blues. Remember to rate them if you like it – we love it when you rate and review our pods!
Insta links to make you think…
This month’s Instagram accounts I’ve loved and think will help you through Dry Freelance January..
@themidult – Lols about life. I particularly like their alternative take on the musings between Pooh and Piglet.
@mrshinchhome – Cleanfluencer Sophie Hinchcliffe’s stories are addictive (they might also inspire you to play around with Insta stories for your business, too – hers have earned her 3million followers), and I picked this as she’s essentially freelance, right? And she’ll inspire you if you like to clean when you’re not working at your home office.
@freelancers_cookbook – One of the bonuses of working from home is we don’t have to have shop-bought sarnies, right? (This was pointed out to me by a future guest of the podcast, journalist Rosie Mullender). This account should hopefully inspire you.
@happyfreelancerstruggles – Lovely illustrations about freelance frustrations
@heidiscrim – a mix of dreamy coastal shots and no-nonsense inspirational musings. I picked this as Heidi did a post over Twixmas about not goal setting, which I reposted and it really struck a chord with people.
And one I’ve got my eye on… launching this month, @thefreelancekit
So, I hope all that’s helped! Let me know how you get on, won’t you? You can find Freelance Feels on Instagram @freelance_feels and the site’s www.freelancefeels.com
For more about me, head to www.jennystallard.com
I’ve added some buttons below which make sharing this and encouraging others to sign up super simple - yay! See you in February!