April: Freelance feels and feeling a freelance fool
The clocks have gone forward, the calendar has flipped and suddenly it’s April. And the world is upside down.
April’s newsletter was going to be all about how freelancing is more of a marathon than a sprint, as it’s the London Marathon this month. I say is – obviously, the word now is was…
I am so gutted for anyone missing their marathon moment, I ran (AKA jogged) the course in 2005 and it was hands down one of the most painful and rewarding experiences of my life. You see, SO like freelancing!
But as the event (and indeed, life, really) is postponed, so are my musings on that analogy. And instead, since April 1st is April Fool’s Day, I want to have a think about the ways we often feel a fool as a freelancer, and how we can kick them to the kerb.
My ‘freelance fool’ history
It’s actually my freelance-versary this month, as I went freelance in April 2017 following redundancy from a newspaper job. I’d kept up freelancing on the side when I could and realised that this was the opportunity I needed to look in different directions, especially working for digital publishers and building my skills in that way.
But alongside those positives were plenty of negatives, and one of the biggest was feeling foolish.
You see, I was very successful when I was in my staff job. I’d written lots of first person pieces, was known to all my PR contacts for being ‘Jenny from Metro’ and even had a dating column. I was very proud of my job and loved the kudos it brought. I went to New York to write about the dating scene, to Glastonbury and reviewed all the newest restaurants in London. Packages arrived daily - anything from new homewares to cookbooks and make up. My opinions mattered - people wrote letters to the paper in response to my articles!
Then, suddenly, I was ‘just freelance again’ and I spent quite a while fielding emails not so much asking what I was up to, but who the person could contact at Metro now I was gone. Of course, that’s business, but it smarted.
It was like I’d been dumped but everyone still wanted to meet up with my ex.
Coupled with the fact that I was now pitching and looking for work again and being asked ‘so, why did you leave?!’ all the time, and I felt pretty foolish.
As we all know, thankfully the experience turned itself around and it enabled me to see the possibility of building what is now Freelance Feels – the podcast, blog, newsletter and Instagram account, which is close to 1500 followers. (Hoorah!)
But those feelings of foolishness persist in my freelance life across lots of different parts of it, and I want to share what I do to try and work through them.
Feeling a fool on social media
It can often feel like we’re in the wrong freelance ‘pot’. Trying to fit in with the terrarium gang while we feel like we’re in a regular plant pot.
It’s easy to see ourselves as lacking, and we live in a freelance bubble, often not speaking to people or seeing anyone for days at a time. And right now, that’s amplified. This ‘at home’ life is often the way for freelancers – it’s the situation I was in last year when I set up Freelance Feels. At home, not knowing when work would come in again, or where from I was in a real period of ‘famine’. I felt like a total failure and fool as a freelancer. If I didn’t leave the house for a run or to go to the shop, 5pm could roll round quite easily without me speaking to anyone or getting any fresh air.
Then - and now - I would scroll through social media and see lots of other people posting their own work and thinking ‘oh, they got a commission today’… And down the rabbit hole of ‘I’m not doing it right’ I would (or do) go.
One of the things I like to do is play the fool on social and that is usually on Instagram stories. Talking about my day, sharing daft things like my failed flapjacks that are now (thanks to a bash with the rolling pin) ‘granola’ and my un-brushed hair gives me a sense of control in the social media landscape.
Pitching fool feels
A big part of my freelance life is pitching. Whether you’re a journalist, like me, and pitch ideas, or do other freelance work, it’s likely you spend a large part of your life pitching your ideas (AKA your babies, right?) and yourself to potential clients or existing ones who might have budget for new work.
It’s exhausting, and as podcast guest Amy Nickell called it, the ‘pitching abyss’ can make you feel rubbish. She referred to being ignored (which happens daily) as ‘professional ghosting’ and I agree. You can listen to her episode here.
It’s so hard to keep your confidence up when you are being ignored – I get that people are receiving a lot of emails, but it doesn’t stop the feels when someone replies ‘No thank you!’ as one did to me a while back. At 11pm. Thanks for the pre-bed ‘FOOL!’ feels.
But then there’s a lesson to be learned there. The simple one is ‘don’t check your emails at 11pm’. Just because someone’s sending the message doesn’t mean you need to take it on board when it’s wind-down time. Also, perhaps if someone behaves that way towards you it’s time to find a new contact to pitch to and leave them and their late-night emails to it.
I actually went back to ‘pitching school’ this year and it’s taught me a lot. I think, as freelancers, we forget we need training, and that we’d get it in staff jobs. So paying out for a course or online training might seem like an extravagance but I’d argue it’s essential if you want to grow skills, connect with like-minded people and build your confidence. The course I did is by Muse Flash Media.
Right now, there’s an overwhelming amount of online training right available! If you’re not in a one-on-one coaching Zoom session you can join a workshop or masterclass. I did allude to the overwhelm in the mid march newsletter, but if you are keen on some training, I’d say take a step back before signing up. Think ‘would I go to this course or seminar in real life?’. Then look at the cost and time. Do they fit with how you like to work? If yes, then go for it, but try and only do one or two maximum a week. Just like you would in real life.
The course I did really did build my confidence and inspired me to begin a pitching spreadsheet, which I had never done before in all my years of pitching. Now instead of feeling foolish when I get a ‘no’ or no reply, I can simply mark it on the spreadsheet and go to the next person. It’s turned my pitching feels from foolish to being in control. It’s something my podcast guest Rosie Mullender spoke about in her episode, and you can hear more of her advice here.
Feeling a fool in person
Doing in-house work, or meeting someone for work can leave you feeling like you might not fit in. Well that’s not happening right now! But it happened a lot for me in the past and I’m sure it will the future. I guess the change right now is I’d LOVE to be able to feel a bit out of my comfort zone at a networking event!
Instead, right now, I feel a fool when the software I need to use doesn’t work – which is a lot right now! One way I’m dealing with this is going audio only. If you’re sick of seeing your own face on video calls, simply say so. ‘I’d like to switch to audio if that’s ok with you!’ seems to be working as a way of suggesting it right now.
Seeing things from another perspective
I facetimed my niece this week, who lives in France. Over there, it’s not April Fool’s, it’s Poisson D’Avril (April Fish) and you make little fish and pin them to someone’s back, trying to make sure they don’t notice. It’s funny to think of a tradition here – making a verbal practical joke – being a more physical one somewhere else.
The point here, is that in different places, things can have a different meaning. Remember that you are seeing things through your own freelance lens. It might be time to take a step back, speak to another freelancer and see how they might approach things. Run your pitch or idea past them, as you would a colleague.
Being yourself is the best way
For inspiration, you could look at and follow people who are being themselves right now and flourishing. Joe Wicks is the perfect example – and he’s shown he’s not infallible by chatting about his down days and showing the chaos behind the scenes at home, too. Bravo, Joe!
Freelance Feels: The podcast – remember to shout about your successes!
Recently I spoke to Ed Goodman, founder of Facebook group ‘Freelance Heroes’ for a bonus episode of the podcast. You can listen to the episode here.
Ed tapped into the anti-fool feelings, when he spoke about how it’s ok to shout when things are going well - as well as when they’re not.
“I have no doubt that there are freelancers out there who are not experiencing the concern and worry that other freelancers are having and they should be entitled to turn around and go: ‘I've just had a new order. I'm so relieved. I'm thrilled about it.’ It's as important to have that outlet as it is for someone to go ‘I'm dreading it. I don't know what to do’.”
Another guest, behavioural change specialist Shahroo Izadi had the brilliant advice to focus on ‘Progress not perfection’. There’s a mantra to stick on your mood board!
Podcast of the month: Creative Boom
Katy Cowan is founder of freelance creative platform Creative Boom (which now has a forum she created during coronavirus) and the podcast is conversations with creatives… lots of upbeat and positive vibes for the current ‘situation’.
Insta links to make you think
Some accounts which are making me grin or giving me a lift through the coronavirus shutdown
@noel_fielding Escapism at its finest - running an online art club to keep us all entertained during isolation, Noel shares his own art – and some random selfies (such as with a pot noodle).
@howmental has some lovely inspirational illustrations.
@natgeotravel Because if we can’t go out, the world can come to us through beautiful photography.
@fionalikestoblog Fiona is the author of Depression in a Digital Age (pertinent right now) and we chat a lot on Insta. We were hoping to meet at an event a few weeks ago but it was postponed – I was gutted as I was so looking forward to it! She’s great on stories, and inspired me to wash my hair, which made me feel LOADS better.
@chateaudelaruche This is the account for a renovated chateau in France and I spoke to the owner, Rebecca Jones, for the podcast back in January. We had no idea of the lockdown ahead of us as we discussed how it feels to leave your old life behind and start afresh in a new country. And going into business with your husband! Another account which will bring some escapism if you’re stuck indoors 24/7 right now.
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You can find more from Freelance Feels on Instagram @freelance_feels
Oh, and one last thing - if you fancy a giggle, you can’t go wrong with Matt Lucas’ Baked Potato song…